Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Please... No More Rock Stars!

Let me cut to the chase: I'm so sick and tired of seeing people advertising for software developers and using nouns to describe these future employees as something they are not.

As a possible candidate for this position, here's why I don't match what you're hiring...

I'm not a rock star. I don't have any recording deals, and I don't have groupies. More importantly, I don't turn around and leave you in the lurch at crunch time because I would rather do something shady at the hotel when I'm meant to be wowing the fans.

I'm not a ninja. For one I have very little martial arts training. More importantly, I don't come in in the middle of the night and drastically upset things so that when you come back the next morning you wonder "what the hell just happened?!?"

Finally, I'm not Chunk Norris (yes, I just saw this advertised!) I don't think I have to actually say anything about this but I'll tell you what... well, I'm not Chuck Norris.


I get it's all about advertising and marketing and all that crap but as far as I'm concerned, you're trying to impress the wrong people! Software engineers aren't about showmanship. We're not about trying to seem hip and happening and all that. We're about getting it done and doing it well.

I also get that there are some instances when you need what may be defined as a rock star. However, if you're not planning on paying that person a heap of money to always be on the road at conferences, selling your brand subconsciously, then I think you're doing it wrong. Alternatively, maybe, a rock star is someone you're hiring because you're hiring that person... in which case, you're not really going to advertise for them!

As far as I'm concerned, there aren't many people that look at an advertised position and think to themselves "you know what? I am a rock star!". As far as I'm concerned, the people that look at your ad and get their ego stroked that way are exactly the kinds of people you shouldn't want to hire.

Stop please. For my sake. Stop stroking the wrong peoples' egos and stop making yourself look like you're more about marketing than you are about development.

Please?